Our journey to start a family wasn’t an easy one. My first ever pregnancy (November 2012) ended in an early miscarriage at 6 weeks and it was truly devastating. It wasn’t until nine months later that I saw those two pink lines appear on a pregnancy test once again and, fortunately, this time the pregnancy resulted in the birth of my beautiful baby girl, Jasmine (April 2014).
When we decided it was time that we’d like to extend our family from a threesome to a foursome it seemed that, sadly, history was going to repeat itself. I fell pregnant very quickly, which I was not expecting, but our joy was short lived as that pregnancy too ended in a miscarriage at just over 6 weeks (November 2015).
Miscarriage is not something I ever expected to happen to me. I certainly didn’t expect for it to happen to me twice.
I wondered if I had it in me to continue trying for another baby, at the risk of losing more and more pregnancies. At the risk of having my heart broken over and over. Miscarriage breaks you, it changes your personality (I became angry, bitter and withdrawn) and it changes your entire outlook on life. It made me feel isolated and lonely. And worst of all, I felt like a complete failure.
But it does get easier, I promise you that. Every day you get a little stronger. You build yourself back up again. You have to.
We took a break from TTC (trying to conceive) in order to enjoy a relaxed Christmas, just the three of us, and then began trying again shortly after that. We were very fortunate in that it took us 3 cycles after our loss to fall pregnant again. Believe me, I was buckled up for the long haul and was truly shocked to see a positive test so soon. Especially after experiencing ZERO symptoms in the two-week-wait.
And so this brings me to where I am now, cautiously growing our second rainbow baby.
Trying for baby no.2 – the very beginning:
Growing a rainbow baby:
12 & 13 weeks pregnant – update: Our dating scan, sensitive teeth and headaches.
14 weeks pregnant – update: Sweet potato fries, pregnancy yoga and possible baby flutters?!
15 weeks pregnant – update: Skin breakouts, lower backache and feeling emotional.
16 weeks pregnant – update: Weeing lots, weird dreams and hot flushes – oh my!
17 weeks pregnant – update: Meeting new bump buddies and suffering with a cold.
18 weeks pregnant – update: Acid reflux, clothes getting tighter and being able to see baby kicks.
19 weeks pregnant – update: Nausea returns and being reunited with my maternity clothes!
20 weeks pregnant – update: Our anomaly scan and staying team yellow.
21 & 22 weeks pregnant – update: A heat wave, buying a moses basket and leaky boobs!
23 & 24 weeks pregnant – update: Feeling low and tearful, bleeding gums and maternity clothes.
Pregnant and not coping… – Telling the midwife that I think I have antenatal depression.
25 & 26 weeks pregnant – update: Antidepressants, competition wins and a birthing ball.
27 & 28 weeks pregnant – update: Meeting my midwife, a weekend in Bristol and a pirate outfit!
29 & 30 weeks pregnant – update: Another heatwave, Daisy Birthing classes and a rainbow hat.
31 & 32 weeks pregnant – update: We finally bought a travel system… and I’m anaemic!
33 & 34 weeks pregnant – update: Feeling a bit fed up!
35 & 36 weeks pregnant – update: Midwife home visit, period-like cramps and Thai food!
WEEKLY BUMP PHOTOS – click here to view.