Growing a rainbow baby: 29 & 30 weeks pregnant

How big is Baby Button-Nose this week?

At 30 weeks Baby Button-Nose is about as big as good-sized cabbage!

Weighing in at 1.3kg and is about 39.9cm long, head to heel.

Mood: 

On the whole, my mood has been pretty good – there have been a few days when I’ve felt a bit grumpy but at 30 weeks pregnant (during a heatwave), I think that’s allowed?! ;)

Symptoms: 

My newest symptom is an achey/burning sensation around my rib cage (right under my boobs). It’s really uncomfortable – I think it’s due to everything being shifted upwards in order to make room for baby. It’s almost as if my skin is being stretched to it’s limits. Oh well, only 8-10 weeks of this pregnancy left to go… *gulp*

Acid reflux

Leg cramps – I’m trying out a magnesium spray as recommended by my Daisy Birthing teacher so I’m hoping that will lessen/stop the leg cramps. I’ve only been using it a couple of days but I will update on this at a later stage, I’m sure.

Backache

Needing to wee lots… like, constantly!

Leaky (and tender) boobs

Braxton Hicks – I think?! My tummy definitely went mega hard whilst I was walking quickly the other day.

Stabby/shooting pains in my abdomen and boobs.

A dodgy stomach… I’ll leave it at that.

Highlight of the week(s): 

On Tuesday I started my Daisy Birthing classes. I signed up for the same 6 week course that I did whilst pregnant with Jasmine. It felt quite surreal when I arrived – walking into the exact same room, seeing the same teacher, the same music playing. It made it seem like I’d never been away… crazy to think I now have a 2.5 year old. I’m so glad I signed up to do it again and whilst I’m the only one who isn’t a first time mum (as I expected) – I know I will benefit from going. I will probably write a more detailed blog post about my Daisy Birthing classes at some point. :)

Baby movements: 

I’ve actually started feeling what I think are baby hiccups now! I find baby button-nose’s movements to be far more subtle than Jasmine’s ever was (her kicks would take my breath away) but that’s perhaps because I can only remember the movements from further along in my pregnancy with her. I’m not sure.

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Appointments:

I popped in to see the nurse on Thursday (at 30+3 weeks) to have my whooping cough vaccination. She told me the flu jabs had arrived at the surgery the day before and offered to do that too. So I had both done then and there in my left arm (in hindsight, I should’ve had them in my right arm as I sleep on my left side.) I’m glad that’s the jabs sorted though!

Things I’m missing: 

Good sleep and cool temperatures!

Sleep:

Rubbish!!

Jasmine was poorly for a few days last week so she was waking up during the night frequently (such fun changing puke-covered bedsheets at 3am!)

I’ve also got to the stage where I’m generally finding it harder to get comfortable at night – I’m tossing and turning a lot before I manage to fall asleep.

Oh and then to top it all off we had another heatwave… *sobs*

This mama is so ready for Autumnal weather!

Pregnancy/baby related purchases: 

I actually feel like I’ve bought quite a lot of stuff over the last couple of weeks, unfortunately most of it has not been anything that exciting. I’m aiming to have my hospital bags packed in the next few weeks (I’m planning a homebirth but I want to be prepared for all eventualities) so I’ve bought lots of glamorous things like maternity pads, breast pads and newborn nappies.

I also found this gorgeous hat for my Rainbow Baby on eBay – it’s even lovelier in the flesh. Can’t wait to see my little Button-Nose wearing it. :)

rainbow-hat

We’ve (well, I have) been researching pushchairs/prams all week and I think we are a step closer to knowing which one we’re going to buy. We’re going over to the big Mothercare in Ipswich at the weekend to test it out and if we’re happy with it, we’ll probably order it online (it’s only available in the colour we want from another store).

Last but not least, I’ve ordered a TENS machine. As I’m renting it, it won’t arrive until I’m 36 weeks pregnant but I bet it will be here before I know it!

 

TinyFootstepsPregnancy

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Growing a rainbow baby: 27 & 28 weeks pregnant

How big is Baby Button-Nose this week?

At 28 weeks Baby Button-Nose is close to an aubergine in weight, just over 1kg. Length: 37.6cm, head to heel.

Mood: 

My mood has been 100x better than it has been in recent months – I haven’t cried since walking into the doctor’s office a couple of weeks ago and I generally feel like I’m on a much more even kilter. Whilst I’m sure the medication is probably helping, I think my visit back to Bristol to see my friends and family has boosted my mood. Not only that, Hubby’s job role is changing very soon which means we’ll be able to relocate back to Bristol in the New Year. It still seems like a long way off to me but there is at least a light at the end of the tunnel now.

Symptoms: 

Acid reflux (definitely getting this more frequently now) :(

Leg cramps

Backache

Needing to wee lots… like, constantly!

Leaky boobs

Night sweats (I think these are a side-effect of my antidepressants).

Highlight of the week(s): 

Going back to Bristol and spending a whole weekend with my best friends. Also catching up with my dad (I hadn’t seen him for two years).

I also loved taking Jasmine for an impromptu visit to the local garden centre/pet shop this week. I took her on her trike and we had such a lovely morning together. I’m trying to make the most of our ‘just us’ time as I know it won’t be long before there will be another little person joining us.

Baby movements: 

Wriggly as ever. Still very, very low down. Most active when I get into bed at night!

Fundal measurement: 

At 28+3 my fundal measurement was 27cms …. which plotted me just under the ‘average’ line on my chart.

28 weeks (B&W1)

Appointments:

It’s been a busy week for appointments (3 of which happened on the same day!) so I thought I’d write about them all separately:

28 week midwife appointment – This week I finally met my midwife, Claire, (she’s been on holiday at my last two appointments so I’ve always seen the covering midwife). I’m pleased to say that she is just the loveliest woman you could ever hope to meet. I instantly felt comfortable in her presence and she was so supportive. I feel like me and Button-Nose are in very good hands. :) Wee, blood pressure and bump measurement were all fine.

GP appointment – I came straight out of my midwife appointment and went to my follow-up GP appointment which was to check how I’d been getting on with my medication. I now have a repeat prescription for Sertraline – the Doctor said I would take it for “up to 6 months to a year”. She’s going to phone me in a month’s time for another catch up.

28 week bloods – I had these taken at the drop-in centre on Thursday evening (1st Sept) and haven’t heard anything from the hospital so I’m assuming they were all good!

Health Visitor – I had been looking forward to my visit from the HV as  I was under the impression (from the letter I was sent about the appointment) that we would talk about ways in which I could get support leading up to and after baby is born. But she was here for less than 15 minutes, asked me a load of random questions like “how many bedrooms do you have in your house?” (!) And even said to me “Hmm, I don’t know what to suggest” (in regards to how she could support me). I felt even more hopeless than before she arrived. I don’t even know what happens next? I think that might be it from her until after baby arrives. Great.

Things I’m missing: 

The ability to go more than 30 minutes without feeling like I need a wee!

Sleep:

Pretty mixed – I either sleep really well or have a terrible night’s sleep, nothing in between. Most nights I wake up drenched in sweat which is gross! I also need to keep getting up in the middle of the night to go to the loo.

Pregnancy/baby related purchases: 

This….

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Need I say anymore?! :)

 

TinyFootstepsPregnancy

To see more posts from My Pregnancy Journal click here.

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Growing a rainbow baby: 25 & 26 weeks pregnant

How big is Baby Button-Nose this week?

At 26 weeks Baby Button-Nose weighs about 760g, as much as a red cabbage. (Length: 35.6cm, head to heel.) Oh my goodness – that seems big all of a sudden!

Symptoms: 

Acid reflux

Awful backache – I think I pulled a muscle or trapped a nerve because it was especially bad for a few days.

Leg cramps

Needing to wee lots.

Leaky boobs (that hasn’t happened for a couple of weeks)

IBS :(

I’ve started medication this week (more on that in a minute) so I’m not entirely sure if some of my latest symptoms are a side effect of that or whether it’s more pregnancy related:

Headaches

Heart palpatations

Hot flushes

Nausea

Insomnia

Mood: 

Very low mood most of the time. I had my 25 week midwife appointment the other day and I told the her that I thought I was suffering with antenatal depression. I’ve since seen a GP and have now been prescribed antidepressants. I’ve got a heath visitor coming to see me in a couple of week’s time to talk about how she can support me when baby arrives. I’m feeling very well looked after and as a result, more positive. Things are going to get better now.

Highlight of the week(s): 

I won Nuna’s #NEWBABYGIVEAWAY Instagram competition. I’ve been eyeing up the Nuna Leaf ever since I found out I was pregnant but I don’t think we could’ve justified buying one. I’ve also got some other gorgeous baby bits winging their way to me as part of my prize. I feel so lucky and it was a great pick-me-up after an exhausting and emotional week.

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The following week I also found out that I’ve won a trip to Finland. I honestly don’t enter all that many competitions but I seem to have struck lucky over the last two weeks. (Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket?!) A visit to Finland has been high on my bucket list for quite a while so you can imagine how happy the news made me. I’m hoping we’ll be able to squeeze it in as a ‘babymoon’ trip before Button Nose makes an appearance.

Baby movements: 

Baby BN has been a right pickle this week. I don’t know what they’re doing in there but holy moly, I’ve been very uncomfortable at times. I imagine them laying horizontally and stretching out their limbs as far as they can. I’ve felt movement above my belly button for the first time. Baby BN is normally so low down and I usually only tend to feel kicks and movement below my navel.

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Food cravings: 

Nothing.

Food aversions: 

None. Thankfully, I seem to have my appetite back too which is great as we’ve been trying out the HelloFresh boxes over the last couple of weeks. Lots of scrummy food – lucky Button-Nose!

Things I’m missing: 

My friends, as always. But I have at least booked a trip back to Bristol for later this month – I cannot wait. :)

Sleep:

In a word, terrible. I seem to be waking up loads for wee and then I struggle to get back to sleep. Jasmine no longer naps now either so I haven’t been able to catch up on sleep during the day. I’ve been ruddy exhausted.

Pregnancy/baby related purchases: 

Stephen bought me an exercise/birthing ball this week. It’s a ‘Natural Pearlescent Colour’ which basically matches the colour of my skin! When I walked into the spare room (where we’re storing it when not in use) I freaked out because I thought there was a person in there – it was just the birthing ball on the sofa.

 

TinyFootstepsPregnancy

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Pregnant and not coping… {Antenatal Depression}

I know that pregnancy can be hard, even at the best of times. Your mind and body become a whirlwind of hormones and emotions. But what I’m feeling is more than just pregnancy hormones. Deep down, I know it’s not right that I’m crying, almost constantly, every single day. I know it’s not right that at 25 weeks pregnant I am still desperately trying to cover up, what is now, a very visible baby bump. Why? Because I do not want to talk about my pregnancy. I don’t want to make small talk with strangers about whether it’s a boy or a girl. I don’t want to discuss baby names. I just want to forget about it. Pretend it’s not happening.

I wake up each morning and dread being alone with my two-year-old all day. I have no idea how to occupy her for 10 hours… especially when all I want to do is crawl back into bed and hide away from her. Not just from her but from everyone and everything. I can’t bear to feign another smile as we play together – my eyes glaze over whilst I wish I was anywhere else but there. Still, I chug down my 28th imaginary cup of tea that she’s ‘made’ for me and hope she doesn’t notice that, mentally, I’m someplace else.

Sometimes she’ll notice I’m crying. She puts her face up to mine and says “Ouchie, mummy?”. “Yes, Baba – Mummy has an ouchie.”  She leans in to hug me and pats me on the back. I sob even more because I don’t deserve her. And she deserves so much better from her mum.

I’m exhausted all of the time. I have no motivation or energy to leave the house. I do manage it occasionally, we’ll venture out to our local park which makes me feel a little better. The fresh air helps and it also eases the mum guilt. But as I stand there pushing the swing I wonder “Is this it? Is this all there is?” I just feel… numb.

I’m terrified of how I’ll cope with a newborn and toddler throughout the winter, when it’ll be even harder to find the motivation to get outside. It feels as if this winter is going to be an endurance test that I’m just not ready for. Still, time keeps ticking on…

I had my 25 week midwife appointment this morning and I knew I needed to tell her that I wasn’t coping. I knew that if I was going to get any help to make this better, I needed to be honest. I wasn’t sure if I had it in me to walk into that room and admit that I am struggling. To admit to somebody I barely know that I am not enjoying this pregnancy or being a mummy all that much.

I needn’t have worried about keeping it bottled up. I had already started crying in the waiting room. By the time I’d sat down in front of her I was falling apart.

“What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

“I’m just really, really sad.”

And that was it – five words. Five words which I hope will be the start of things getting better.

We talked about how hard it is for me, living here, with no support network. I told her that my husband works such long hours and I don’t want to be a burden on him when he gets home. I told her how I never do anything for myself anymore. I explained how my anxiety stops me from taking my toddler out each day.

She listened to me and promised me she would do everything she could to help. I have to see a GP and I’m already dreading having to have this whole conversation again but I know it will be worth it.

I don’t want to be depressed when my baby is born. I don’t want Jasmine to see her mum suffering with an ‘ouchie’ anymore. I want help. I need help. And after suffering in silence for weeks and weeks, I think I’m finally on the right path to getting it…

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Growing a rainbow baby: 23 & 24 weeks pregnant

How big is Baby Button-Nose this week?

At 24 weeks gestation Baby BN is nearly as long as an ear of corn and weighs about 600g. (Length: 30cm, head to heel.)

Symptoms: 

Acid reflux (usually in the evenings before I eat dinner).

Bleeding gums when brushing my teeth.

Sore boobs.

Loss of appetite.

Tiredness.

Needing to wee lots – I think Baby BN is using my bladder as a hammock!

I’ve also noticed that it’s getting increasingly harder for me to bend over to tie my shoe laces or pick stuff up off the floor. I’ve started making a very attractive grunting noise whilst doing so – ha!

Lots of pregnancy-related dreams. Last night I dreamt that somebody announced our baby had been born to friends and family before we’d had the chance to do it ourselves. Worst of all – they’d given out a completely different name to the one we’d chosen for our baby (who in this dream, was a girl). I woke up feeling really angry! Bizarre.

Mood: 

Hmm, not great – I’ve felt very emotional this week. Some weeks just seem so much tougher than others and as always I’m missing my friends and family a lot. I have moments where I wonder how on earth I’m going to cope with two little people (in the winter, when it’s harder to get outside) whilst having no other adult company all day.

Aside from that, I’ve felt very tired this week and struggled to keep up with Jasmine’s demands to play constantly which is pretty exhausting at the best of times. I’ve snapped at her far too much this week and then I end up feeling even worse.

Basically, I’d describe my mood of late as ‘meh’. I hope next week will be better.

Highlight of the week(s): 

Totally unrelated to pregnancy but Jasmine keeps saying ‘I lub you, mummy’ totally unprompted.

Baby movements: 

Button Nose is pretty active throughout the day most of the time. Although, sometimes I get to the end of the day and panic that I’ve not felt them move enough. I’ll take a few minutes to lay on my back (always gets Baby BN moving) and then I feel them start to wriggle. The kicks are getting quite strong now but not still ‘take your breath away’ kinda strong.

24 weeks pregnant (with text)

Food cravings: 

None.

Food aversions: 

On a few days over the last week or so I’ve been totally off food which is strange because I’ve had quite a big appetite throughout most of this pregnancy so far. I’m still as thirsty as ever.

Things I’m missing: 

Bristol. Adult company.

Sleep:

Not too bad but I still keep going to bed late. The evenings always seem to disappear.

Pregnancy/baby related purchases: 

None of my non-maternity shorts seem to fit me any longer so I popped into H&M and bought some denim shorts from their MAMA range (pictured below). They were in the sale for £7. There were a few others that I liked but annoyingly they didn’t have my size in stock. The maternity section in my local H&M is tiny so it’s a bit pot luck as to what you’ll find. I did also pick up this simple jersey dress for £14.99 which is another good option for hot, summer days.

h&M mama haul

 

That’s all for weeks 23 and 24 – hoping to feel a bit more positive going forwards. I have my midwife appointment on Thursday, it seems like ages since my last one. I’m determined not to cry the whole way through this time.

 

TinyFootstepsPregnancy

To see more posts from My Pregnancy Journal click here.

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