Do you know what’s funny? Every time I’ve attempted to write this blog post, I’ve immediately started trying to justify my decision to send Jasmine to nursery. A decision that doesn’t effect anybody else but her, me and her dad. And yet, I feel somewhat defensive about it, like I should have to explain myself to everybody.
Perhaps part of the reason for my defensiveness is that I feel a tad guilty about it. Because that’s what us mums do, isn’t it? We make decisions for our children, in the hope that they are in their best interests, and then proceed to feel guilty about them. Regardless of the outcome.
Tomorrow Jasmine starts nursery. She’ll be going for two mornings a week for the foreseeable future. I’m both incredibly excited for her, and extremely nervous. I know she’ll be fine – she’s never been particularly phased by new faces and places. But it’s still going to be a big adjustment for us both.
However, I think it’s really important for Jasmine to get that social interaction. Living away from our family and friends means that she doesn’t spend time with other children and adults very often. Aside from the odd toddler group now and again, it’s just me and her 24 hours a day. I don’t think that’s particularly healthy for either of us. There’s an African proverb that I strongly agree with: “It takes a village to raise a child”. I think nursery is going to be as close as we get to a ‘village’ until we’re in a position where we can move closer to our families.
Not only will her time at nursery be beneficial for Jasmine, but also for me. Hence the ‘mum guilt’ I suppose. I’m looking forward to having a few hours a week to myself to do other things besides being ‘just be a mum’. Because lately, that’s what I’ve felt like – ‘just a mum’, as if there are no other parts of my personality. I’ve forgotten who I am and what other things I enjoy doing. I’ve become of ‘Mumbot’, an automaton who wakes up – changes nappies, makes food, does washing, cleans the house and then goes to bed at night to do all it over again the next day. I’m looking forward to mixing things up a bit.
And would you look at that! Despite my best efforts I still ended up trying to justify my decision to the internet. It was bound to happen, wasn’t it?
I’m off to pack up Jasmine’s little rucksack for her big day tomorrow.
And, when the inevitable guilt creeps in, I’ll repeat over and over “It takes a village… It takes a village…”
Jasmine’s beautiful, personalised ‘ditsy print’ rucksack was kindly sent to us by the lovely folk at My1stYears. It will be perfect for taking her belongings to nursery, is small enough for her to carry herself (which she loves to do) and has adjustable straps. As well as the zipped main compartment of the rucksack, there is also a front zipped pocket too – ideal for carrying around Bunny! The text can be personalised in a range of different colours. It’s such a gorgeous little bag. The only downside? It makes her look so grown up! *sob*