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Blogging, Miscarriage, Motherhood, Pregnancy

Pregnancy after a loss & blogger guilt

I spent a long time um-ing and ah-ing over whether or not to write about my current pregnancy on my blog. As somebody who has had to deal with the heartache of having two miscarriages, I know how upsetting it can be for somebody going through a loss or infertility to constantly see pregnancy updates. I know how it feels when it seems like everybody else is celebrating bumps and babies and you’re not. It really bloody hurts. And now that I’m pregnant again? Well, I feel guilty that my happy news could be causing somebody else to feel miserable. I hate the thought of that.

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Lifestyle, Pregnancy

My top 5 tips for surviving pregnancy tiredness
#FIGHTFATIGUE #BLUEIRON

1. Eat well and drink plenty of water:

I know, I know – if anybody had told me to ‘eat well’ during the first trimester I would’ve scowled at them. We all know that it’s especially important for us to have a good diet whilst pregnant. But let’s face it, it’s easier said than done when you’re feeling poorly, and food-wise, nothing sounds ‘good’ except for a big plate of cheesy chips or something equally as unhealthy! However, now that I’m in the second trimester and I’m over the nausea and food aversions (fingers crossed it stays that way), I’m trying to up my daily intake of fruit and veggies. To be honest, I still don’t always fancy them but I know when I do eat well it makes such a big difference to how I feel – both physically and mentally.

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Family, Featured, Motherhood

On toddler groups and why they are NOT the answer I’m looking for…

I had my 16 week midwife appointment the other day. Leading up to it, I had played the whole thing out in my head several times. The bit where she asks “and how has your mood been?” and I casually lie “Oh fine” and we move swiftly on to checking my wee or blood pressure.

Except it didn’t happen like that. When asked how my mood had been lately, I felt my eyes fill with tears and my face get hot. “Up and down” I replied. And then I broke down. I sobbed as I blurted out about how I am struggling to cope with feelings of isolation and loneliness. How I don’t have any support network. How I hate living in this town. How I tell my husband every. single. day but he just doesn’t get it. How I have no idea how I’m going to cope with two children.

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20 weeks bump (with text)
Baby Button Nose, Pregnancy

Growing a rainbow baby: 20 weeks pregnant

How big is Baby Button-Nose this week?

Baby BN has grown about as long as a small banana and weighs 300g. (From about 20 weeks baby will be measured from head to heel. Length: 16.4cm, head to bottom, and 25.6cm, head to heel.)

Symptoms: 

Not a huge amount to report on the symptoms front this week.

I had a bout of IBS on Friday evening (sorry if that’s tmi) which is pretty unpleasant at the best of times, let alone when you’re pregnant. Because of that I felt completely wiped out on Saturday and ending up sleeping for most of the day.

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19 weeks bump (with text)
Baby Button Nose, Pregnancy

Growing a rainbow baby: 19 weeks pregnant

How big is Baby Button-Nose this week?

Baby BN is about as large as an heirloom tomato and weighs 240g. (Length: 15.3cm, head to bottom.)

Symptoms: 

Since getting my first bout of acid reflux last week, I’ve had it a few more times this week. Again, it wasn’t too bad and Rennies seemed to do the trick but it’s never a pleasant feeling. It feels like there’s a little fire at the bottom of my throat!

Sore boobs as per usual.

I had a random moment of nausea yesterday (Sunday 3rd July) which took me surprise as it’s been a while since I’ve been/or felt sick. I was halfway through eating my dinner (slow cooked gammon + veg) when my brain suddenly decided that the carrot I was chewing was the most disgusting thing ever. I was so close to puking but after running into the garden to get some fresh air and sipping some water, I somehow managed to get through it without being sick. I couldn’t eat anymore of my dinner after, though!

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18 weeks bump (with text)
Baby Button Nose, Pregnancy

Growing a rainbow baby: 18 weeks pregnant

How big is Baby Button-Nose this week?

Baby BN is nearly as big as a bell pepper and weighs 190g. (Length: 14.2cm, head to bottom.)

Symptoms: 

This week I’ve had my first experience of acid reflux in this pregnancy. It’s something I only seem to get whilst pregnant, in fact, I think the last time I had heartburn was when I was pregnant with Jasmine! Fortunately, it didn’t last too long but I suspect I’ll probably start getting it a lot more over the next few weeks/months.

Other than that, I’m still getting lower back pain on the days when I’m most active (i.e walked lots or cleaned the house.)

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17 weeks pregnant (with text)
Baby Button Nose, Pregnancy

Growing a rainbow baby: 17 weeks pregnant

How big is Baby Button-Nose this week?

Baby BN currently weighs about 140g this week, about as much as a turnip. Length: 13cm, head to bottom.

Symptoms: 

Not much to report this week. I’ve had a hideous cold and cough which has meant I’ve felt rotten but not had much in the way of actual pregnancy symptoms except for the usual lower back pain.

Baby movements are getting stronger still and more regular too. I love feeling little kicks!

Mood: 

Pretty good! :)

Highlight of the week: 

I went for a well overdue haircut on Wednesday evening which felt like a nice break!

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16 weeks (with text)
Baby Button Nose, Pregnancy

Growing a rainbow baby: 16 weeks pregnant

How big is Baby Button-Nose this week?

Baby BN measures up to an avocado in size and weighs 100g. (Length: 11.6cm, head to bottom.)

Symptoms: 

I thought week 16 was quite a quiet week symptoms-wise but then when I sat and thought about it, I seemed to have quite a big list by the end of it. Here goes…

The terrible skin has returned on my face. It’s not so much spots this time but my skin is red, sore and blotchy. Where’s this ‘glow’ everyone keeps telling me about, huh?

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15 weeks one (with text)
Baby Button Nose, Pregnancy

Growing a rainbow baby: 15 weeks pregnant

How big is Baby Button-Nose this week?

Baby BN has grown to around the same size as an apple and weighs about 70g. (Length: 10.1cm, head to bottom.)

Symptoms: 

At the beginning of the week I had quite a bad skin breakout on my face. My skin has stayed relatively clear during this pregnancy so far so it took me by surprise. Anyway, it seem to clear up by itself pretty quickly.

I’ve been suffering with lower backaches a lot this week. One evening, after getting Jasmine ready for bed, it took me several minutes to stand up because the pain was shooting down my backside/legs. My poor girl looked quite worried (I was doing my best not to swear and probably sounded a bit like “Ffff….aargrrghrhhjdkjkhdjhg!!”) and after explaining to her that my back hurt, she came over and started rubbing my back saying “ouchie”.

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Jasmine's Monthly Updates, Toddler

Jasmine’s 25 & 26 month update

It’s been a little while since I last wrote an update on Jasmine and I have to say, the first couple of months of parenting a two-year-old have been very, erm, interesting! I’ll get the negative bit out of the way because I don’t want to dwell on it. The couple of weeks leading up to and after Jasmine’s 2nd birthday (so we’re talking a month or so in total) almost broke me. She was having tantrums almost constantly throughout the day – and I mean full on screaming/kicking/biting tantrums. She could go from zero to ten in a split second and we both (my husband and I) found it very hard to deal with. Thankfully, after a few weeks of this behaviour it seemed to peter out – she still has her moments, don’t get me wrong – but the tantrums are far less frequent and intense.

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